Things didn't really start out great today. Mostly because I hate my straightener. Only because it doesn't actually straighten anything. And in my opinion if a device doesn't do what it's NAMED it's a piece of crap. My straightener should be called hair-ripping-frizz-inducing-time-wasting-piece-of-crap-ener.
It's a superficial thing, I know. But I don't feel good about presenting myself to the general public as a hot mess. Hideous beast is not a good look for me. And if I don't feel at least semi-decent looking, how am I supposed to feel at least semi-decently about anything else?
Mostly I'm just in a really b****y mood. My body is pissed that yet another egg has gone unfertilized and is punishing my husband by turning me into a town-crushing man-eating monster.
That's why I've decided that you, mother nature, are a whore. I don't want to pop out a baby. And I think it's really cruel that you make me bleed and writhe in pain every month just because I refuse to submit to your selfish desires. You're a terrible, terrible lady.
And if I don't feel at least semi-decent looking, how am I supposed to feel at least semi-decently about anything else?
ReplyDeleteThis sentence is SO true. I have always wanted to say this but could never do so so aptly and concisely!
And I am sorry the baby venture has yet to succeed. It is a hard and disappointing thing. Have you been trying long?
ps. you are absolutely hilarious and delightful. I ADORE your writing.
Sorry to hear about such crap but I guess there are lots of those products in the market. Sigh! :)
ReplyDeleteAck, it's like a miracle to straighten my hair. Then I never want to wash it because it took so much work. LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks for checking out my shop and entering the giveaway contest at Statements in Fashion!
Smiles,
Wendy
www.wendyhammerdesigns.etsy.com
http://wendyhammerdesigns.blogspot.com/
Your writing's amazing. Good luck with the baby stuff
ReplyDeletexx