A New Kind of Labor Pain

I have this ridiculous lower back pain only on the right side. It's only when I sit, bend, twist or otherwise try to live a normal non-robotic life.

Google has suggested three things: appendicitis, kidney stone/infection or some kind of muscle strain.

I don't have any other symptoms of appendicitis and my husband who had to have his appendix removed told me that if it was that I'd be in a lot more pain right now. Like "SOMEONE JUST FREAKING STABBED ME." pain.

I also don't have other symptoms related to kidney stones and infections, namely peeing fireballs, so I think that's out as well.

As for the muscle strain, I'm leaning towards that one because the pain isn't constant. It's only if I am not standing totally straight. But I haven't done any heavy lifting or out-of-the-ordinary activities so I don't see how I could have managed to randomly hurt my back.

Since everything Google suggested is out, that leaves only one plausible solution.

Obviously last night I was abducted and an alien put it's egg sack inside of me. Now the baby is growing and slowly eating my innards. Soon I will either die of internal bleeding or give birth to an alien.

Well, at least it's not too serious.